Red Ventures Launches Safe Haven for Youths Who Play Bagpipes

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This morning, April 1st, 2019, Red Ventures  announced their intention to launch a new nonprofit aimed at supporting youth in the Charlotte community: Sharp Minors.

“In all my years teaching music, I’ve never seen more passionate kids than those who play rare instruments,” said new Program Director Gunther Van Bronn. “Other attempts at bringing justice for these musicians have fallen flat, but I truly believe that Red Ventures has orchestrated a perfect solution to make a change.”  

Young adult man playing bagpipe in natural surroundings

Director of Sharp Minors, Gunther Van Bronn

The program plans follow the LifeSports model, eventually scaling to include players of other traditionally lesser-known instrument groups – such as the accordion, keytar, and didgeridoo.  

Research shows that music typically has remarkable effects on student success, increasing neural activity in the brain, reducing stress, and even improving memory. And, while officially bagpipes were classified as weapons of war until 1996, have been proven to cause fatal respiratory conditions, and sound like a pig suffering from asthma inside of a European ambulance – they actually also have an inverse effect on student motivation and ability to concentrate.

“Kids who play bagpipes have to be tenacious and bold, which are qualities we look for in every employee at Red Ventures. I am inspired by their stories, and I believe they deserve great opportunities to translate their passion into high-growth professions,” Vice President of Communications Maghan Cook said. “It’s time to pay the pipers.”

In line with Red Ventures’ pay-for-performance business model, each participant will be required to perform a final recital before graduating from the program. Sharp Minors’ repertoire boasts a comprehensive range of literature, so students will perform everything from classic Scottish Ayres, to modern bagpipe covers of Ariana Grande and Post Malone.

Sharp Minors is yet another expression of RV’s mission to help talented young people unlock new keys to success – regardless of the circumstances (or instruments) they’re given in life.

Did you enjoy this article? We’re glad, but you should know that all of it is completely fake. If you’ve read this far, we salute you and cordially invite you to share this post/trick as many of your friends as possible. April Fools!

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Red Ventures Launches Safe Haven for Youths Who Play Bagpipes