Today, April 1st, 2019, we published five major announcements….all of which were completely fake. We’re very sorry for how not sorry we are.
However, we’d like to point out that there IS some truth to what we shared….
No, we’re not opening a private zoo for employees.
But we DO offer some crazy perks at all of our global office. For example, in Charlotte employees can take a bowling, basketball, or putt-putt break – and they have access to a state-of-the-art learning center. Or, check out our NYC office, where we’ve got cold brew and local kombucha on tap. In Austin, we invite one of the city’s top food trucks to our office every. Single. Day. And in Detroit, our craft coffee bar rivals the best cafes in the city.
Why? Because we really do believe our world-class talent deserves world-class amenities. And that’s the truth.
No, we didn’t hire a robot to take over lead our data team.
But we ARE developing some cutting-edge artificial intelligence technologies in-house. As a portfolio of multiple businesses that cross into several industries – machine learning is how we amplify insights and accelerate learning within our platform.
We’re proud of the one-of-a-kind culture we’ve built on our data teams, where we trust our engineers, data scientists, and other teammates to own their projects and be autonomous – in a completely human kind of way.
No, we’re not opening a new office in Antarctica.
We ARE growing offices across the US, Europe, and Brazil – but our strategy is to grow in places where we can scale talented teams and replicate our model in similar industries. We’re not quite sure Antarctica is ready for us (yet).
No, we don’t recommend aquascaping or nano-naps (at work).
But we DO believe that wearing very tall hats make for more productive meetings.
We believe in trying new things, in constantly changing the way we organize work, and in challenging assumptions – which maybe you should have done before believing that article.
Also, strawberry milk isn’t that bad…
No, we didn’t launch a safe haven for youths who play bagpipes.
But we ARE driven by a passion to create educational opportunity and economic mobility for under-served groups who have the motivation and work ethic to succeed.
The social impact that our nonprofits – Road to Hire, LifeSports, and Golden Door Scholars – have created over the years is VERY real, and we’re proud to continue leaving the woodpile higher than we found it in any way we can.
We apologize to any passionate bagpipe players who may have been offended by today’s article.
Yes, we DO take our work very seriously…
But NEVER ourselves.
We enjoyed poking fun at ourselves all day long, and we hope you did, too.
Now if you could please share this post to help us explain all of the above to anyone who still has questions, we’d really appreciate it. (We’re STILL getting questions about the minotaur in RV4.)
Happy April Fool’s Day!